He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
