he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
