doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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