At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It's just like the Real World with babies
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
