Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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