Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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