I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
