Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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