Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
