alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
