i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
