Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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