Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
