I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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