Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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