I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
