All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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