My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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