I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
