he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
