This girl is more easily done than said...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize