Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
