Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
