I wish I could teleport
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
