i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
