they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i drank out of a bidet.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
