I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I believe in your delicious
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
