we're blogging at a bar
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
