your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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