it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
