yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
