Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
