He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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