it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
