You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
