I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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