She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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