dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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