sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
