Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
