Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My bed smells like the plague
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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