I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
is that a dick in a sweater?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
