That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
