hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
