"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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