I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
try to milk me bitch
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
