Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
