No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
