It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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