you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I look excited, but its just a facade.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
