Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize