Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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