i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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