you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize