I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
