so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
time to smoke my breakfast
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
