How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
