Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
