Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize